Thursday, December 6, 2012

Long Time No See

Wow, I started this blog almost 4 years ago with the intentions of blogging 3 or 4 times a week, with the hopes that it would help me with my weight loss journey. I blogged approximately 11 times and haven't blogged since. Well, as you can imagine, a lot has changed since then. My energetic toddler is now a rambunctious 5 year old. He was diagnosed with pdd-nos, which is on the Autism spectrum, at the age of 3. It was tough to deal with at first but I have accepted it and I wouldn't change him for the world. I actually did continue with my weight loss journey, slowly but surly. I would lose some, gain a little back, lose some more, gain a little more back , and so on. At one point I reached 185 lbs. which was 100 lbs down from my highest , but the scale only stayed there for about a minute. I stayed between 190-195 for about 9 months - a year, then my weight slowly crept back over 200. I was at 205 in January of this year when I found out that I was pregnant with my second child. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar II, so I was taking  a lot of meds, so I promptly quit them cold turkey. Probably not the smartest thing that I could have done but I didn't want to harm my unborn child. When I went to see my family doctor, 2 days later, I weighed 208, of course it was the afternoon and I was fully clothed. I went back to see her exactly one week later and I weighed 223 lbs! I gained 15 lbs in 1 week!!! I am assuming that going off of my meds through my body out of whack ( at least that's what I blame it on). When I delivered on October 5th, ( a beautiful baby girl, if you are wondering) I weighed 260lbs. So I gained 55lbs and considering I gained 115 lbs with my first pregnancy, I am happy with that. Well maybe not happy but I will take it. So here I am 2 months later, I weigh around 240 lbs, which I weighed approximately 2 weeks after birth, and I can't fit into any of my old clothes. I have no motivation , which is why I am not losing anymore weight and I am still wearing my maternity clothes. When I think back to how long it took me to lose the little bit of weight that I did after my last baby, I feel completely overwhelmed and hopeless. Add into the fact that I actually have 110 pounds that I want to lose to be at my goal weight and it just seems impossible. I work full time, I have a 5 year old son, a 2 month old daughter, I am starting college in January and I am on 3 committees. I honestly don't know when I will have time to exercise, at least not if I want to see my family and sleep. Is there any hope? I will do an official weigh in tomorrow.

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