3rd weigh in

O.k so today was my third weigh-in. There will be no picture with this one because my camera batteries were dead. But really there is nothing to show. I lost 0. I guess that is better than a gain but not by much. Then I log on & read Lynn's post about giving it your all & about how there is so many people that want to join this challenge but they have to turn them away & I just feel like a huge disappointment. I have really let my team down but mostly I let myself down. I started this blog to vent my frustrations & get support for the one area I need int the most & am not getting it at home but I am not even taking the time to follow through with it. I feel like I have been a lousy team mate & for that I am sorry. All I can say is I am going to do my best to kick it up this week, I am also going to blog at LEAST one other time this week & that doesn't just mean logging on & reading others. I will say this as I am sure I am not the only one, if I could find a solution to this problem I would probably be a freakin waif, I am sick of eating when I am not hungry!!! I don't know why I do it. I really don't! I could be stuffed to the gills & keep eating & I am having a hard time getting past this. Maybe I need to see a shrink? Anyone have any good solutions for this problem because if you do, please tell me! O.k I will be back later in the week to catch up on my reading & this weekend to post another blog:) Maybe sooner if I get snowed in!

Weigh day

Today had not been a good day for me. I weighed in today & I am up 1.2 lbs! After I did so well last week, I am so disappointed. I may have not exercised everyday but I didn't think I was going to be up. I think I am getting ready to start my period so I am hoping that is it. I haven't been on all week, & I know I should have logged in at least a few days. I know part of being in this challenge & part of the reason I even started to blog on here was to have the support to others going through the same thing I am & then I don't even take it. So I am making that a mini goal of mine this week to log on at least 4 of the 7 days . Even if I don't blog I need to be there to read others & support them.

I am having a terrible time in my personal life right now. Well I guess I shouldn't say terrible it could be ALOT worse.My husband son & I have been living with my in-laws for the past year. I wasn't able to work the last part of my pregnancy & then after I had my son I couldn't see myself going back to working 12 hour days at a factory so I quit my job there & ended up taking the afore mentioned job. Anyway being off with the pregnancy & then the pay cut that I took really set us behind. So we have been living with his parents for a little over a year. Recently we have been looking to move out. My husband & I are both animal lovers so when we got married we ended up with 6 cats( we now have 5 because 1 passed away) & 1 spoiled bulldog. Well through my communications with other bulldog owners I made friends with a girl in New Jersey. She had a male bullie. She also ended up getting a female pup. Well she ended up running in to some financial problems & is having to move back with her parents & was going to surrender her bullies to a rescue. So since Chad & I are looking to move out anyway we told her we would take them. I don't know if you have any experience with bullies but they are the sweetest must loving dogs you could ever ask for! So Chad's aunt had gotten married & moved in with her husband & had a 3 bedroom 2 bath house with 2 car garage, privacy fenced in yard & above ground pool sitting empty. So I told Chad to ask her to rent it to us! She said that she wished that we would have said something sooner but she had promised it to someone else but if they didn't end up taking it we could definitely have it. Well come to find out the people she had promised it to was her son-in-law's ex- wife., which in itself is a little strange to me. Anyway we found out yesterday that they are taking it. So now we have to find a place that will let us have all of our animals oh & our son:) I hope my week gets better!!

1st challenge weigh in

So today was my first weigh in for the challenge & my weight was 232.2, so that means I was down 5.6lbs!!! I am incredibly excited but incredibly terrified all at the same time. I am so afraid of failing. I find myself on the verger of falling over the edge everyday. One thing I know I need to do & I plan on doing tonight is spending more time on here getting to know my fellow challengers & bloggers. I think tonight after my son goes to bed & after the biggest loser or maybe even during I will get on here & read every one's post so maybe I can get some insight & tips as to hot to stay on track & make it work this time. I know I can't keep thinking I am going to fail or I will. Even if I do have a bad day I just have to make it up the next. Anyway. So far so good, I think I am off to a good start!

Day 6

So here I am on Day 6 & I hate to say anything for fear of jinxing myself but I have been doing quite alright. My official weigh in is not until tuesday, I changed it to that day because of another challenge I am in, but as I have told you I am a scaleaholic so you know I weigh myself every day. This morning when I weighed in I was pleasantly surprised! Now, I won't tell you until tuesday to keep my opponents in suspense,lol, but I think I may have found my willpower, at least for a little while. I have been counting my points, measuring my portions, writing them down, working out on my wii. Even trying to do the new Jillian Michael's game although it frustrates me to no end because I cannot figure it out. If anyone has any pointers on that game feel free to pass them along. Right now I am feeling better about myself than I have in along time!

Hi my name is Mandy & I am a scaleaholic.

There I said it. It is out there for the world to know. I am addicted to my scale. I don't why, most of the time it makes me incredibly unhappy but I weigh myself at least 4 times a day. I weigh myself when I wake up, when I get home from work, when I change out of my work clothes before I exercise or eat supper & finally before I go to bed at night. I know this is unhealthy your weight can differ for several different reasons throughout the day but it doesn't matter. It's not as if I am counting on that number for anything, I just have to know. When I go to bed tonight will it be different from last night? Will I be down a little bit? It is my obsession. My boss does not weigh herself at all. Only once a year when she goes to the dr. does she know her definite weight. My co-worker does not own a scale either. To me this is madness, if my scale were to break I would go immediately to Wal-mart to buy another. I have tried to just weigh myself once a week but I can't do it. I think if I am weighing myself everyday at least I know if I am up a pound than I have to work a little harder today to get it off. Crazy? Probably. I know it is crazy to weigh myself 4 times a day, I just can't quit. A little bit of OCD possibly??

Day 3

I am on day 3 of what is officially supposed to be the start of my new lifestyle & so far it hasn't been so great. I did get up & walk this morning but I cannot seem to control my eating. What's funny is before I eat something I think in my head how I shouldn't but I do it anyway. I guess it really is like the cartoons with the devil on one shoulder & the angel on the other but as of right now my devil is kicking my angel's ass. I really need to turn that around. I am going to be starting a few challenges coming up so I am sure that will help. For some reason I have always done better in challenges, it's like if I have someone else to report to I will make myself do better. Especially if I have a partner, I fear letting people down. Maybe I need to work on not letting myself down as well.

The official weigh in

So I weighed in this morning at 237.8. I was going to post a pic of my weight but didn't have time to take it this morning so hopefully next week I will give myself a little more time in the morning. Today was supposed to be the official start to my new life & I didn't do so well with my eating or my exercise. I am happy I at least got on here & blogged but I just have to find my will power, I know I have buried deep with in me. Tomorrow will be my first day of getting back into cardio. I am either going to walk, go to the Y & do machines or do my wii fit orcombination. We shall see what tmorrow holds. I am taking this one day at a time....