Long Time No See

Wow, I started this blog almost 4 years ago with the intentions of blogging 3 or 4 times a week, with the hopes that it would help me with my weight loss journey. I blogged approximately 11 times and haven't blogged since. Well, as you can imagine, a lot has changed since then. My energetic toddler is now a rambunctious 5 year old. He was diagnosed with pdd-nos, which is on the Autism spectrum, at the age of 3. It was tough to deal with at first but I have accepted it and I wouldn't change him for the world. I actually did continue with my weight loss journey, slowly but surly. I would lose some, gain a little back, lose some more, gain a little more back , and so on. At one point I reached 185 lbs. which was 100 lbs down from my highest , but the scale only stayed there for about a minute. I stayed between 190-195 for about 9 months - a year, then my weight slowly crept back over 200. I was at 205 in January of this year when I found out that I was pregnant with my second child. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar II, so I was taking  a lot of meds, so I promptly quit them cold turkey. Probably not the smartest thing that I could have done but I didn't want to harm my unborn child. When I went to see my family doctor, 2 days later, I weighed 208, of course it was the afternoon and I was fully clothed. I went back to see her exactly one week later and I weighed 223 lbs! I gained 15 lbs in 1 week!!! I am assuming that going off of my meds through my body out of whack ( at least that's what I blame it on). When I delivered on October 5th, ( a beautiful baby girl, if you are wondering) I weighed 260lbs. So I gained 55lbs and considering I gained 115 lbs with my first pregnancy, I am happy with that. Well maybe not happy but I will take it. So here I am 2 months later, I weigh around 240 lbs, which I weighed approximately 2 weeks after birth, and I can't fit into any of my old clothes. I have no motivation , which is why I am not losing anymore weight and I am still wearing my maternity clothes. When I think back to how long it took me to lose the little bit of weight that I did after my last baby, I feel completely overwhelmed and hopeless. Add into the fact that I actually have 110 pounds that I want to lose to be at my goal weight and it just seems impossible. I work full time, I have a 5 year old son, a 2 month old daughter, I am starting college in January and I am on 3 committees. I honestly don't know when I will have time to exercise, at least not if I want to see my family and sleep. Is there any hope? I will do an official weigh in tomorrow.

Weigh-In

So I know I didn't follow through with through with my menu detailing last week but we lost Internet service for a few days because of the ice & snow we got. I did however lose 3 lbs!!! So yay me! I hope I am back on track. I know only I control that. I will just be glad when the weather turns nice so I can get out & move around, also I can't wait to get back into a place of my own so I can control the groceries a little more.

Yesterday's grub

O.k. before I post what I had to eat yesterday, let me tell you about my day. Understand I am not making excuses, I just want to give you some insight into my day. Also I want to let people know I am still working on my eating issues. It started snowing Tuesday & it snowed & snowed & snowed. Then it started to rain, freezing rain mind you. This was probably a little after midnight on wed. morning so wed, I woke up to frozen snow. So basically my whole town shut down, all schools & most business'. I work at an oxygen company. Our patients rely on their oxygen so we will very rarely close down but I figured today might be one of those days. My mother in law was off so she kept my son, thank god I didn't have to take him out, & off I went to work. Luckily I live less than a quarter of a mile from work had it not been a ice rink outside & still sleeting out I would have walked. When I walked in my area manager announced that when our county reached a level 3 snow emergency we were closing down & going home. We were at that time a level 2. I was thinking good because I didn't have anything for lunch anyway( I usually keep lean cuisines in the fridge). The sleeting finally stopped then comes the snow, more snow. So now we have snow, ice, snow. It was snowing pretty freaking hard too but they never upgraded us to a level 3 snow emergency. So my boss announced since we were stuck having to work we were getting Bob Evans & letting our company pick up the tab. I know I could have made a much better choice than what I did but I could have done worse. So this is what my food intake looks like for yesterday:
Breakfast: nothing
this is something I need to work on. Me & my coworker were taking turns buying bread for toast or bagels but haven't in a while but I know I need to make sure I have breakfast.
Lunch:Bob Evans bob-b-q sandwich( not the knife & fork one) 655 cals 30 fat grams
side salad 137 calories 4 fat grams
lite ranch dressing104 calories 10 fat grams
supper: vegetable soup( my mother in law made) 465 calories 17 fat grams from hamburger
this is a guess could be less , I know it is not more
4 town house crackers for soup 80 calories 4.5 fat grams

total for yesterday:1441 calories 65.5

So I know I need to lessen my intake & also make healthier choices. I am going to work on that.

O.k. So Valorie has dared me to blog everything I eat. Which I will accept this challenge but I will tell you my main problem so I can get some tips for this. This has been an area I have been having trouble with which is why I am choosing to do this. My problem is that my husband & I currently live with my in-laws, my mother in law doesn't know the meaning of healthy cooking. So I while I eat healthy during the day nighttime is my downfall. I need tips on how to resist the temptation of my mother-in-laws cooking.

3rd weigh in

O.k so today was my third weigh-in. There will be no picture with this one because my camera batteries were dead. But really there is nothing to show. I lost 0. I guess that is better than a gain but not by much. Then I log on & read Lynn's post about giving it your all & about how there is so many people that want to join this challenge but they have to turn them away & I just feel like a huge disappointment. I have really let my team down but mostly I let myself down. I started this blog to vent my frustrations & get support for the one area I need int the most & am not getting it at home but I am not even taking the time to follow through with it. I feel like I have been a lousy team mate & for that I am sorry. All I can say is I am going to do my best to kick it up this week, I am also going to blog at LEAST one other time this week & that doesn't just mean logging on & reading others. I will say this as I am sure I am not the only one, if I could find a solution to this problem I would probably be a freakin waif, I am sick of eating when I am not hungry!!! I don't know why I do it. I really don't! I could be stuffed to the gills & keep eating & I am having a hard time getting past this. Maybe I need to see a shrink? Anyone have any good solutions for this problem because if you do, please tell me! O.k I will be back later in the week to catch up on my reading & this weekend to post another blog:) Maybe sooner if I get snowed in!

Weigh day

Today had not been a good day for me. I weighed in today & I am up 1.2 lbs! After I did so well last week, I am so disappointed. I may have not exercised everyday but I didn't think I was going to be up. I think I am getting ready to start my period so I am hoping that is it. I haven't been on all week, & I know I should have logged in at least a few days. I know part of being in this challenge & part of the reason I even started to blog on here was to have the support to others going through the same thing I am & then I don't even take it. So I am making that a mini goal of mine this week to log on at least 4 of the 7 days . Even if I don't blog I need to be there to read others & support them.

I am having a terrible time in my personal life right now. Well I guess I shouldn't say terrible it could be ALOT worse.My husband son & I have been living with my in-laws for the past year. I wasn't able to work the last part of my pregnancy & then after I had my son I couldn't see myself going back to working 12 hour days at a factory so I quit my job there & ended up taking the afore mentioned job. Anyway being off with the pregnancy & then the pay cut that I took really set us behind. So we have been living with his parents for a little over a year. Recently we have been looking to move out. My husband & I are both animal lovers so when we got married we ended up with 6 cats( we now have 5 because 1 passed away) & 1 spoiled bulldog. Well through my communications with other bulldog owners I made friends with a girl in New Jersey. She had a male bullie. She also ended up getting a female pup. Well she ended up running in to some financial problems & is having to move back with her parents & was going to surrender her bullies to a rescue. So since Chad & I are looking to move out anyway we told her we would take them. I don't know if you have any experience with bullies but they are the sweetest must loving dogs you could ever ask for! So Chad's aunt had gotten married & moved in with her husband & had a 3 bedroom 2 bath house with 2 car garage, privacy fenced in yard & above ground pool sitting empty. So I told Chad to ask her to rent it to us! She said that she wished that we would have said something sooner but she had promised it to someone else but if they didn't end up taking it we could definitely have it. Well come to find out the people she had promised it to was her son-in-law's ex- wife., which in itself is a little strange to me. Anyway we found out yesterday that they are taking it. So now we have to find a place that will let us have all of our animals oh & our son:) I hope my week gets better!!

1st challenge weigh in

So today was my first weigh in for the challenge & my weight was 232.2, so that means I was down 5.6lbs!!! I am incredibly excited but incredibly terrified all at the same time. I am so afraid of failing. I find myself on the verger of falling over the edge everyday. One thing I know I need to do & I plan on doing tonight is spending more time on here getting to know my fellow challengers & bloggers. I think tonight after my son goes to bed & after the biggest loser or maybe even during I will get on here & read every one's post so maybe I can get some insight & tips as to hot to stay on track & make it work this time. I know I can't keep thinking I am going to fail or I will. Even if I do have a bad day I just have to make it up the next. Anyway. So far so good, I think I am off to a good start!